10 Obstacles to Change, and How to Overcome Them

Often, behavioral changes – such as how you react to a toxic person, limiting negative inner dialogue, or adjusting your parenting style - are an essential part of personal growth. But unfortunately, any type of change – big or small – can be hard and stressful, which is probably why many people resist change. Counseling can help you recognize and overcome common obstacles.



1.    Too Many Changes at Once – Often, when we decide to make a change, we're full of enthusiasm and eager to create our "ideal" self, making it challenging to choose just one thing to change. However, deciding to make too many changes at once may cause you to become overwhelmed, stressed, and unfocused, often sabotaging your efforts. So, it's almost always best to focus on one change at a time.
 

2.    Fear – Fear of success or failure is another common obstacle. What if you fail? What then? On the other hand, what if you succeed? How will it change your life? How will others react to this change?

3.    You're Comfortable – It's surprising how comfortable we can become with just about any situation. Our current circumstances may not be ideal, but at least we know what to expect. The status quo is comfortable, and who knows what will happen if we try to change it? Psychology Today quotes Thich Nhat Hanh, "People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar."

4.    Lack of a Plan – A plan helps clarify everything and keep you focused. A plan should include the specific change you want to make, the steps you will take to make that change, reminders of the benefits, potential roadblocks and how to overcome them, etc. 

5.    Too Much Planning –Beware of "analysis paralysis" - overthinking and over-analyzing something to the point that you become paralyzed and don't take any steps to move forward. 

6.    Your Mindset – "You see life through your own unique lens. This is your mindset – the assumptions and expectations you hold about yourself, your life, and the situations around you," according to Stanford University. "Research shows that mindsets play a significant role in determining life's outcomes." Often, mindsets are distorted, but the good news is that according to Stanford, "mindsets are highly changeable, and if you are willing to learn the technology of changing your mindset and defeating your distorted thoughts, you can have significantly more happiness." 

7.    Lack of Persistence – In the beginning, you will probably be full of energy and enthusiasm, but making a change takes time. You may be tempted to abandon your efforts if you don't see immediate results. Furthermore, if you stumble and fall, you may be tempted to use that setback as a reason to quit. Sometimes, you just need to have faith in the process and push through.

8.    Lack of Motivation – You need to really want a change to make it happen. It's that simple. If you don't really want to make a change or are trying to make a change for someone else, you are setting yourself up for failure. Motivation can wane over time, even if it's a change you want to make, so have a plan to keep yourself motivated.

 
9.    Exhaustion – Discipline and self-control are exhausting! Sometimes you may just feel too tired to continue. Include some strategies to overcome this hurdle in your plan, but also cut yourself some slack if you stumble. Then, dust yourself off and get back on track as quickly as possible. 

 
10. Trying to Change Someone Else – For the most part, you can't change someone else. You can only change how you connect, relate, and react to others. So, focus on changing yourself, not someone else.